As many have before me, I was a little nervous about becoming a mum. I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle the lack of sleep. I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle it if I didn’t know how to stop him crying. I wasn’t sure if I could handle anything whether it be wrapping him up for bed or breastfeed or the hundreds of other things you do for your child.
After most things came naturally and others were learnt, I started to find my confidence. However, now I realise the hardest thing for me is trying to not help Nick. I’m not talking about neglect here, and I still try and stop major injuries from happening. But little knocks are required to learn. For instance, to learn how to walk he needs to fall and to learn how to use a spoon he needs to make a mess (repeatedly).
I’ve gotten a lot better with just letting Nick try things his own way and not helping him by “showing him the right way”. Nick is now at the age that he can let me know if he wants help. Nonetheless, I still struggle with not being there to catch him every time he nearly falls. But I know to do so will stop him learning how to stop himself from falling. Even now when he is more stable with his walking, every time he falls/nearly falls, I give a loud gasp and lurch forward. Doesn’t even matter if he is on carpet with nothing around him.
Turns out the hardest thing for me, wasn’t what I’m able to do, but what I’m able to not do.